What to do.

2 years have passed from when the ex and me split. A fight commenced and lots of truths were declared. Still after all this time I have not been given the buy out I had agreed upon.

Yet I am the one who gets blamed for dragging proceedings. For all the delays. She had been given what she needs to move things along and yet she does nothing. I am wanting all this behind me. To move on and start a new life, but it's like she wants to keep her claws in for control. This in turn is not making anything better for me mentally. A house I have tried to move to is going to be delayed due too her lack of anything and is looking to go to another buyer. My mental health just goes on the decline when I think about it all. I have lost motivation once again as I can't seem to get anything done or able to see it through without being delayed. Everyday I just want to give up. End it. Work is just as bad. Boss is self centered and is a narcissist. Nothing is his fault, always somebody else to blame. We are 2 people down out of 4 due to ill health and one looks like it's a result of overwork. Still, this is not his fault, won't fix or do anything about it as we have to step up. The stress is sending me elsewhere. Find something else. Anything involving animals might suit. Cat cuddling or dog walking.

It has been a while.

So yea. I have not fallen off the world, I am still here. Things have had their ups and downs. I even think a few old friends have now decided I am no longer worth their time, but I think there may have been some influence there from somewhere.

Continue reading

Today was my day to die.

Things of late have really not been going my way. My life has been falling apart for a while now. Since the 1st quarter of last year. The fiancee said things were over simply, from what I can only gather, because I have depression so doing things myself is incredibly hard and that she would have to do more of the work. Then other events compounded things over the next few months with job losses and new starts. In December I had the house valued and I had made an offer for her to buy me out for a small sum. She refused and said I deserved nothing and would be taking it to the solicitors to take all of it.

Continue reading

Is this the end of the current road?

I have tried loving myself so much. I have looked at myself in various different ways. It all comes down to my own self-deprecating form. I am just simply not good at anything of any worth. I have no value to anyone or to anything.

Continue reading

What to do?

The Ex has gone. She left only a few days ago and has taken the cat with her. The house feels empty now. So do I.

Continue reading

Mind is in a spin

These past few weeks have been turbulent to say the very least. My head, stomach and other parts that shouldn't be, are in a spin or twist.

Continue reading

Thoughts and events

The following text will give a small insight to the things that have happened and what I am thinking in recent days and months.

Continue reading

Depression is a bitch.

I can tell you this. Depression is a bitch.

People don't or won't believe you if you tell them as they think that, because you are active, and don't show the symptoms of depression, you don't have it.

Continue reading

Page top